diary

I'd like to be the girl that i was back then. Back then i had a true life, a fulfilled one with friends, lover, family, plans... no, not just plans, but important plans. Now it seems that everything was torn apart. I try so hard everyday to keep myself straight, everytime i try to forget, remembering not to cry when i feel a taste of your smell. and the more i try, the more impossible it seems.
Once you get used to have company, once you know that without speaking you can talk hours and hours it is complicated to live in this solitude. I can asure you: you're not the only one who's feeling alone. The difference is that you deserve it and i... i... it was not my fault.
a week ago, at lunch time, i concluded that the most terrible feeling is when you don't have any one who cares for you. not a single worried message in the fucking cellphone. whenever i find someone all things seem empty. it seems that it couldn't never work out. and i can't deal with it. i am not strong enough. someone, one time told me that i was too spoiled. the fault is mine, though.